Dear Diary, 11th March, 2012 Today is a day of mourning in Palestine. For the first time in life, I have failed in finding the bright side; after losing my family, friends and identity, what is there left to live for? Even though my hands are shaking and my body is all numb from head to toe, I cannot bring myself to stop writing.
A man dressed in a simple suit and necktie, chosen as number 13 of the world’s most influential people by Time Magazine, walks to the front of the room and begins talking in a calm and nurturing manner to thousands of captivated viewers.
From his start as a preacher to his status as the Arab world’s prevalent Muslims icon on television, Amr Khaled has magnetized Muslim youth in theMideastand around the world with his emphasis on attaining spiritual self-renewal by adhering to simple Islamic manners and beliefs..
Amr Mohamed Helmi Khaled, a 44-year-old Egyptian accountant, was born inAlexandriaand grew up in Mohandeseen. Though his middle-class family was not religious, it impressed on Khaled the importance of morals. In Ramadan of 1981, Khaled began to desire a relationship with Allah, thus starting his journey to self-discovery through Islam. This sudden desire to personally develop his faith and become a better Muslim would, in two decades, lead to the revival of the Muslim youth. He began preaching in mosques in 1990 while still working as an accountant. In 1998, he moved to full-time preaching, primarily on satellite television. Khaled’s popular lectures, which can be seen on the IQRA channel via the NILESAT direct broadcast satellites, are also distributed over the Internet and on audio and video cassette tapes.
Though not a scholar in Islamic Jurisprudence, Amr became well known as a compassionate and eloquent speaker in Masjid El-Hossari in Mohandeseen. His weekly talks attracted such a large crowd that youth would come hours in advance to get a seat in the lecture hall; the streets outside the hall would be filled with young Muslims hoping to hear his lecture.
Amr’s impact on the youth, both internally and externally, has been apparent throughout the Ummah (global Muslim community). Immediately after listening to one of his lectures on hijab (head-covering) for example, the mass majority of women and teenagers inEgypt—who probably never considered the prospect of wearing hijab—began wearing it overnight.
Amr Khaled emphasizes using faith to motivate spiritual and community development. He effectively utilizes the media outlets—including television shows on Arabic satellite channels, audio sets, magazines, and the Internet—to stimulate the Islamic revival. He received his Ph.D at theUniversityofWales, Lampeter in May 2010 with a grade of A. Khaled continues to globally broadcast speeches directed towards the development of the youth of the Ummah.
“Please understand, ignoring a Reality doesn’t make it less Real. It’s still going to happen. Being unprepared for something doesn’t stop it from happening. If you chose to stay up all night partying, instead of studying for your final, it doesn’t mean the final won’t happen. It still will. And you only end up failing. If we spend this life just partying, pretending that the final isn’t coming, it won’t stop it from happening. Nothing will stop death. Nothing. Nothing will delay the Day of Judgment. Like that final, the question is only: are…we…prepared?
Or are we too busy playing?” Yasmin Mogahed
“But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.”
When things do not go exactly the way we wanted, when we do not achieve what we have tried so hard to or when we feel so let down by others then always know that for as long as we have faith & trust in the Almighty, He definitely has something better in store for us!
He has saved us from a calamity or disaster that would have been in our path or has elevated our status through surrendering to His Decree.
We are not considered believers until we are pleased with the Decisions of the Almighty. This will save us from much anxiety & depression. Try your best & leave the rest to Him.
By Dr. Nafisa Sekandari and Sr. Hosai Mojaddidi
For Muslims there is no better example or precedent of an ideal husband than the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). He was the most loving, kind, humble, merciful, compassionate, loyal, trust-worthy, and generous husband to ever have existed; indeed his example in every facet of life is perfect and the list of his attributes are far too many to enumerate, may the peace and blessings of God be upon him. For this reason, he is the standard every Muslim woman should use when looking for a spouse. For Muslim men, the standards of what to look for in an ideal wife are found in the prophetic tradition: “A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a loser.”
In addition to learning from the perfect example and advice of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), when considering prospective suitors it’s helpful to outline specific qualities and issues to think about. We’ve provided four important tips for you to keep in mind below:
1. Kindness: When you first meet someone, you may have instant physical attraction, but this should not be confused with love. Love is something you must work on. It has to be created and developed between the two of you. Kindness and giving create love. A love that is giving and kind is based on an internal connection and is more lasting. Physical attraction is an external connection and will fade over time. Love that is based on giving is because you care about the person, not because you want to get something back in return. This giving must go both ways. Both individuals must give to each other from a place of compassion and caring. So look for someone that is able to give to you and motivates you to give back to them. Marry a person you want to give to even if you get nothing back in return.
2. Common Goals: It’s very important to know yourself first and then consider whether you share common goals with your partner. Do you both have the same ideals, values, dreams, and aspirations? In essence, you should both be going in the same direction. If your partner has dreams and aspirations that go in the opposite direction from you, you cannot share a life together, even if that person is kind and giving. You might say, “What if they don’t have any goals and are willing to go in any direction I’m going”? Be careful of this type of thinking; being with a person who lacks self-awareness and direction in their life will only complicate your life. They need to mature and develop a sense of self before they can make important life-long decisions. Many couples find themselves on the road to divorce because after the initial honeymoon phase is over, one partner begins to realize their goals in life differ from those of their spouse. It’s important to be on the same page initially. Early on in the relationship, make it a point to discuss issues like how many kids you want to have, how you will raise them, what values you want to instill in them, and what type of lifestyle you want to have, etc. You must know what the other person’s goals are and really objectively consider if those goals are compatible with yours.
3. Consider the Whole Person: Learn to appreciate the whole person which includes the good, the bad, and the ugly. Realize that the person you care about has all the great qualities you enjoy as well as some you may not enjoy. Many people get into marriages with the unrealistic expectation or idealized sense of what a spouse is supposed to be. They focus so much on the hope that he/she will possess all the wonderful qualities of a spouse without considering the possibility of any negative ones. It’s this idealized expectation which oftentimes leads couples down the path of divorce. Going into a marriage with the realization that people are imperfect will help you see that with all the advantages that come with a wonderful partner, there will also be some disadvantages as well. Knowing and preparing for this in advance might lessen the shock and help you both work together at building the relationship you want. You will never have it all in a relationship. Ask yourself, what is more important to you? Is it more important to have someone you can have a deep and meaningful connection with or someone that will keep a nice and tidy house? You may not get both. Is it more important to you to have a responsible and reliable partner or someone that is fun and adventurous? What areas are you willing to compromise in?
4. Physical Appearance: Last but not least should be looks and physical attraction. Physical attraction isn’t necessarily based on a standard of physical beauty. What you find beautiful may not be what your friends find beautiful but it’s important that you like how they look. They don’t have to be physically perfect but they should definitely appeal to you. And keep in mind that looks alone cannot make the relationship. What matters more is how compatible you are, how giving you each are in the relationship, and how much you care about each other. The fact that you both find each other attractive is definitely important but try to see it as the icing on the cake instead of the main ingredient.
In order for any relationship to succeed you have to have the humility to recognize the limitations in yourself and in others. We are all from God and everyone has flaws and shortcomings. No one is perfect. For this reason, you must be willing to throw out the term “perfect” and compromise for the “good enough” relationship and the “good enough” partner. It’s unrealistic and arrogant to think you deserve perfection. Since you are not perfect you should learn to accept the imperfections of others. The one who thinks the world of himself is usually the one who expects the world from others.
